Unnecessary fic
by IgnisDivine
Summary: Retelling the adventures our heroes had on Namek and the challenges they faced there, this fic makes no god damn sense.


**Please note that IgnisDivine is not my real name, it's just a nickname I chose to register on this site. Also, after you read this fic you'll notice that it may or may not exist, so you should go see a doctor.**

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It was a beautiful day on Namek, where GohAnn and Krettin were threatened by an ugly guy who didn't look like a human, but more like a faggot and he wore black lipstick for no reason. Also, his feet were fucking annoying, I mean who wears three toes nowadays? Hello! What are you, an eloquent duck? Anyways, Venetia wanted to fart but his pants cracked open revealing his leafy alert crackhole so he pouted and cried like the little Sandokan he is, because Saiyan pride and all that crap. That's when he decided he wanted to kill the queer albino with annoying laugh, because he didn't like the way Toriyama voices him. Or her. Whatever.

So, he shouted at Kroffin: 'Hey, clitoris head! I want you to hurt me!'

Kegel got an instant erection. 'Ok, ugghhh, why do you always look like a butt-plug?'

And then. BANG! Venera's fist collided with Kegel's hilarious cheek with accurate precision, making him spit two gangrenous teeth. 'Like this, I meant!'. Then Yoda landed on Namek in a weird spacecopter and cut Vegetable's phallus with his Patronus crap wand for stealing his lines. Actually, I can't believe you fell for this, wands cannot cut things, foolish humans! Back to the story, Krappin punched Veveta and broke his arm and died.

' _Great! Now I must find the lol wtf elf to heal me!_ ', thought the Incestuos Prince of all Hospitals therefore he reached Donde to politely require a healing stimulation from him. But, every thing has its own cost, as we will soon learn what Derpe's price is for such a task.

* _HIGHLY PORNOGRAPHIC SCENE PLEASE LOOK AWAY*_

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'HA!', exclaimed Vampeta so loudly he made two sparrows shit themselves, just because he always likes to be in the center of attention what an asshole. 'I will defeat you now, Yaoi Captain! I AM THE LEGENDARY CHESS PLAYER!'

We will leave those two fight their boring battle quietly and shift focus on Gohome who was impatiently awaiting the arrival of his anus proctologist, Dickolo. As the latter one was about to make one of his majestic homoerotic intros he tripped and fell with his underrated pickle in the ground, making a hole so deep the oil started dripping out like a poop fountain and all the Arabs came on Namek on their flying carpets, killing the metrosexual dork lord with refrigerator name in the process. Buttolo discovered that Lolan was the one that elongated his foot and made him trip. He looked up to see the grunting geek face of his domesticated autistic student, but it was also full of tears and boogies like how he does when he cries like a snotty bitch. 'Why did you do this, Rahan? What's the matter?'

'You lied to me, Bitchccolo! But now I know the truth, DeeDee told me everything! I thought we could have a happy life of great humpness together, but nooo, you had to go on and ruin everything!'

'Gohan, nooo!' To prove his love, Bartolo embraced Logan and licked his mucus but Logan panicked because he thought he got pregnant so he ran immediately to the nearest gynecologist. To his relief, it turned out to be just an infectious severe diarrhea because Boobma is a thot who can't cook!

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Meanwhile, Vendetta is still fighting the corny drag queen with an even more feminine name. He/she was killed, but he/she also orchestrates the fuck logic symphony and unlocked the plot armor item as we saw many times inside the real anime, so he/she is not dead. As they are engaged in a mortal Red Hands match in which Vendetta is rapidly losing his stamina and his virginity, Star Wars theme begins playing as Goofu arrives to save the day and his medieval Saiyan conracist, who he will later marry.

'Kakashi! Thank you for arriving exactly a minute after this asshole killed me! Why can't you never be punctual? Do you even wear the watch I got you for Christmas?' yelled Vefeta in an attempt to prepare himself to be the nagging housewife he will later become.

'Woof woof!', replied Goonu drastically as a drip of drool began falling from his mouth like a baby from a pregnant woman.

'Father, you arrived, hooray!', that was Conan. Gollum now had a puddle of saliva around him.

'Gugu, thank Kamel you are here! We were really working hard and we almost got ourselves killed!', said Pimpccolo. Now Kuku is drained of all his bodily fluids and died from dehydration, looking like a menstrual raisin. 'Oh no, Gaga drooled himself to death! What are we going to do now?'

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The white shonen-ai nemesis was so happy he started celebrating by killing the dead Kraken a few more times. That's the moment when Goofy powered up and gathered all his saliva floating around him like flies to a poop and transformed into a Super Raisin.

'Bleh bleb blep', he threatened the tyrannical ballerina...

But is he strong enough to defeat Frisky? Will he ever get to copulate with Derpeta? Will Gooman cure his STD that he got from Prickolo? Find out next. Or not.

8================================D~

 **Ok, stop asking me to give you back the minutes you just lost. I'm not Doctor Who!**

 **OR AM I**


End file.
